Most People Die at 20, But Aren't Buried Until 80.

Welcome to Letters of Wonder — a space to explore the truths behind clarity, creation, and what it means to live a truly wonderful life.

Most of us aren’t living.

We’re just surviving.

We’re moving through the motions, slowly letting our dreams erode, and convincing ourselves it's fully normal.

When people talk about "dying," they aren’t just talking about a physical death.

They’re talking about something much quieter.

The slow death of your spirit.

The kind that happens when you stop growing.

When you stop questioning.

When you settle for comfort over creation.

You think comfort is what you were searching for.

Until you realize something.

As I find my way in life, I wanted to talk about something nobody really prepares you for:

The 3 quiet phases you must walk through to stay alive on the inside.

For the longest time, I thought finding the right path meant finding the right things.

Maybe the the right career, the right relationship, or the right place to live.

But over time (through decisions that didn't fit, seasons that quietly broke me open, and dreams that fell apart), I realized something deeper:

Alignment doesn’t come from chasing the perfect external life.

It starts inside.

And once you find even a small piece of it within yourself —

you can finally start to align with the life you were meant to live.

That's why I wanted to share this with you.

Because maybe (like me) you're not as lost as you think.

You're just being called to walk through something deeper.

Phase 1: Reflection

Most of the time, we have no idea what we actually want.

We know what others want for us.

We know what society expects.

We know what keeps everyone else happy.

But what do we really want?

To each individual their own.

But the real danger is never taking the time to ask.

And even if you do ask... you won’t always get a clean, polished answer.

In fact, you may not get any answer at all.

You’ll find confusion or doubt.

That’s because you have layers of other people's voices stuck inside your mind.

And that's why reflection feels so hard.

But you must be willing to sit with the void and be willing to realize:
what you thought you wanted… wasn't even yours.

That’s the painful part most people avoid.

So keep doing what you’re doing.

Say yes to new things too.

But this time, pay attention to your energy.

What drains you?

What fills you?

And to really feel the difference, you have to spend time alone.

Because clarity doesn’t come from the noise.

It comes from the quiet.

Phase 2: Realignment

This is where you start realigning your life to match your highest calling.

There may be friends or activities that no longer serve you.

Maybe they were meant for you in a past chapter.

But now, you must realign.

As you grow, you will realign with that what calls to you.

And this is also a painful phase.

As it requires you to say no... a lot.

In fact, you may just have to say no to everything that doesn't serve you.

But that is the price of inner clarity.

Phase 3: Direction

Here is your true north.

This is where you are heading in the direction that aligns with your life.

You stop saying "no" to absolutely everything, because you know your internal direction.

Energy starts aligning.

The right people find you.

Opportunities feel less forced and more natural.

And slowly — you find yourself too.

You no longer chase every invitation.

You no longer fear missing out.

Because you know: what’s meant for you will recognize you.

And what isn't… will quietly fall away.

So why is it that most people "die" at 20?

Because they stop aligning with what truly matters to them.

They think they are okay with whatever comes their way.

They don't get intentional of the people they surround with, the activities they pursue, or the career they are in.

But these are decisions that last almost your entire life.

You cannot just coast through them, or you will feel like you are slowly dying inside.

But here’s the truth:

Even if you’ve made decisions that feel permanent, you can always realign.

As hard as it sounds, you can still recalibrate.

You can still find aliveness somewhere in your life.

Next time, don't put the TV on or numb yourself with social media.

Instead, take some time to meditate, read, or go on a nature walk.

Reflect on what truly matters to you in your life.

And slowly, you will find yourself aligning with a life that feels alive.

And maybe that alignment has nothing to do with your job you hate.

Or your relationship you feel stuck in.

Or the external things you thought needed fixing.

Maybe it’s something entirely different.

And that is beautiful in itself.

I’ll leave you with a short story