The Shift After College That No One Talks About

Welcome to Letters of Wonder — a space to explore the truths behind clarity, creation, and what it means to live a truly wonderful life.

What Path Are You On?

The scariest part about graduating wasn’t the real world.

It was the silence that followed it.

In college, life was loud.

There were random group chats.

We had midnight dining hall runs.

And a bunch of last-minute plans.

I had a good great time. I made a ton of friends, joined random clubs and even pledged a frat (briefly).

But after graduation.. everything stopped.

There were no more plans. No more texts.

Just… me. And a lot of quiet.

For the first time, I started to feel more alone.

It was almost directionless.

Growing up, I was given a clear path:

Take a ton of AP classes in High School (and you better get A’s) → Get into a good college → Land a good job

Shoutout to the people who gave me this path:

• My parents

• My teachers

• My friends’ parents

• My friends’ siblings

• The aunty next door

But no one told me what came next.

And once I graduated, I began to wonder.. is this really it? Do I just go find a job now?

Spoiler: I decided not to.

I chose to figure out what I really wanted instead.

And I’m not gonna lie, the first few years were tough.

Not because I failed.

But because I had to face the quiet — and find my own way through it

Side note: This essay still applies even if you’re already working or about to start a job.
It’s less about your career - and more about finding what truly excites you (even outside of work).

The Void

For those of you who have graduated, you know what I’m talking about.

Things change super quick.

You go from having all these people around you... to being completely alone for the first time in your life.

And it's not easy to deal with that.

Where did everyone go?

Some of us move back in with our parents.
Others take jobs in different cities.
Some even get married early.

But the common thread in all of this is: You're no longer given a roadmap.

Now it’s like: Great. Figure it out from here.

You're responsible for your own life.

And to be honest… it's kind of quiet.

Almost boring?

And in this void, you start wondering:

Am I going the right way?

Is this really what I want my life to look like?

And you have 2 choices:

1. Numb the void and ignore it.

2. Go through the void and realize what you truly want.

Today, I want to talk about why #2 might actually change your life.

After graduation, life gets quiet.

Especially when your identity revolved around activities, friends, and social events.

This is the stage of the void.

So what do we do?

We fill the void:
We party more.
Hang out more.
Date more.

But that’s a temporary fix to an internal problem.

Your mid-20s are a beautiful time in your life.

They’re a time to reflect on what YOU want.

Not your parents.
Not your teachers.
Not your friends.

It’s a time to get quiet and build your life.

And it may not be this easy again—
Because the void, when reflected upon, is beautiful.

I don’t mean to say that graduation is rock bottom.

But it is a place to restart.

A place to get clear on what really matters.

• Who you want around you

• What kind of work fulfills you

• How you want your days to feel

And I won’t lie: getting clear isn’t easy.

But it’s a lot easier than when you're buried in chaos like in college.

Dead Time vs. Alive Time

In a past newsletter, I talked about Dead Time vs. Alive Time.

The idea is that you can either react to life or create it.

One makes you feel dead.
The other brings you alive.

And most of us, after graduating, start adapting to Dead Time:

• Clocking in for work

• Scrolling endlessly

• Accepting every invite just to not be alone

Even time with friends can be Dead Time if you’re just reacting to inner emptiness.

But if you're creating something together—building a memory, a moment, a mission—that's Alive Time.

So what do you do?

You start by living more in Alive Time. You create more than you consume.

This lonely period is a rare moment in your life when you can:

1. Build something you dreamed about as a kid

2. Create meaningful relationships out of wholeness instead of lack

3. Improve a skill or start a project/business just because you want to

All of this is Alive Time.

When you're not reacting, but initiating.

To find your purpose, you must let go of all that doesn’t serve you.

And this moment (right after college) is the perfect time.

Because in many ways, you’ve already let go.

Everything you thought you were… has quieted.

• The labels

• The structure

• The praise

• The path

It all dissolves.

And in that stillness, you finally begin to hear you.

As long as you stop shaking the void with distractions, the truth will begin to appear.

Now, you can get clear on things like:

• Your values.

• Your relationships.

• Your work.

• Your habits.

• And ultimately, the life you want to build.

The Identity Ditch

This brings me to the concept of the Identity Ditch:

Collapse → Void → Rebuild

Your mid-20s are a time of Collapse and Void.

Everything your identity was built on (grades, approval, people, routines) starts to crumble.

And it sucks at first. Because what now?

But here’s the thing: when the external validation is gone, what’s real remains.

Most people live in the Void for years.

They keep trying to patch it with new pleasures and distractions.

But here’s the thing → the more you fill the void with the distractions → The more it collapses inward.

That’s how people end up in a mid-life quarter-life crisis.

So what do you do?

You sit with it.

• Feel it.

• Listen to it.

• Learn from it.

There’s no exact timeline for this.

But slowly, you’ll start to get clearer on what truly matters in your life beyond the external validation.

You’ll know when the things you’re drawn to aren’t for clout—but for soul.

How do you know you're not just doing it to distract yourself?

It's subtle, but the difference is felt.

When it's real, you feel fulfilled even with zero applause.

There's no craving for validation — just quiet satisfaction.

And afterward, you feel more alive, not more drained.

The doing gives energy, not just escape.

And that’s when you slowly, quietly… start Rebuilding your life.

And you feel alive again.

That doesn’t mean it gets easy.

Life will still challenge you.

You’ll still have to work for the job, the person, the peace.

But it’ll be you doing it.

For real.

And that’s what makes it deeply fulfilling.

I want to share my own example here.

For me, Rebuilding led to:

• Creating content (something I loved doing as a kid)

• Building a business and working for myself full-time

• Spending much more time with family

• Going deeper on a few friendships

• Structuring my days for maximal flow

• Focusing on getting jacked and eating right

• And a whole lot more

I share these examples as a way to reflect on my own Rebuilding over the last few years.

There’s still a lot left for me to to learn, but facing the void helped me get much clearer on the life I wish to build for myself.

If you were to ask me in college, I would have told you I would be fine with any job as long as I can make a lot of money.

Now, after facing the void, my answer has completely changed.

The Treadmill vs. the Trail

Here’s another concept I love:

The Treadmill vs. The Trail

For most of your life, you were on a treadmill.

It was structured and predictable.

You knew the path, because you were being guided by your parents, teachers, friends, society.

But you weren’t really moving anywhere new.

After college, the treadmill finally ends.

Now you’re on the actual trail.

And here’s the thing about the trail → it’s unpredictable.

It’s twisty and filled with forks.

Oh and you might run into a few bears and snakes along the way.

And if you stay in the stillness long enough… you don’t just find your path.

The path begins to find you.

Because as your inner self gets quieter, you begin leaning into the things that feel natural.

And slowly, life starts to rearrange itself around that truth.

You stop chasing — and start attracting what’s meant for you.

Not for your ego… but for your soul.

I want to end with 2 questions.

Ask yourself these to reflect:

1. Who are you when no one is watching?

2. What would you do if no one clapped?

That’s where your truth begins.

It’s not easy.

It’s probably easier to binge Netflix or scroll TikTok.

But come back to Alive Time.

Find what brings you back to life.

That’s where you should focus.

And you will set yourself up for a beautiful life.

Not because it’s glamorous.

But because it’s real.

Not for others.

But for you.